On dealing with difficult people

I have apparently not learned this just yet so I went looking on the internet for stuff on this topic.  I thought its own post with some things to refer to when I have to deal with difficult people might be useful.  It seems to come up time and time again and my reactions must change if I’m ever going to co-exist with these people.  So, once again, here are some quotes I found.  I can’t be the only person that doesn’t do this very well.  So if I help anyone out there that struggles with this, all the better.  Okay, ready then?  Here we go!!

This first one really says it all, don’t you think?

When dealing with difficult people, remember you can’t control their actions, only your own reactions to them.

Boy howdy.  Perhaps the next time I am confronted with what I perceive as an attack, I will remember this.  Along with this one:

When dealing with difficult people always remember, it is about them and their problems. Be compassionate.

It truly is about them!!  Remember this.  I have such a hard time remembering this one.  And wait, be compassionate? One, I never thought of this!  Two, um…..well……that’s a tough one!!  How does one be compassionate towards someone who is constantly on the attack?

Oh yea, this one sure hits home:

Be thankful for all the difficult people in your life, and learn from them. They have shown you exactly who you do not want to be.

Dealing with difficult people, you learn compassion and patience.

And there’s that darn patience thingie again.  You might recall my previous similar post with quotes:  Patience…..and waiting  I wonder if I will ever learn these lessons.

I found some interesting articles on the web as well so I’d like to share them here too.

Tips on Dealing with Difficult People

Dealing with difficult people

10 tips for dealing with difficult people

Some good quotes and tips from these articles:

Holding a grudge against someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Try not to place blame on yourself or the other person for the negative interactions. It may just be a case of your two personalities fitting poorly.

Know when it’s time to distance yourself, and do so. If the other person can’t be around you without antagonizing you, minimizing contact may be key.

In dealing with difficult people, don’t try to change the other person; you will only get into a power struggle, cause defensiveness, invite criticism, or otherwise make things worse. It also makes you a more difficult person to deal with.

This post obviously has nothing to do with travel.  Rather, consider it another post on my travels through life and the lessons I continue to learn.  I’ll leave you to cogitate.  How do you deal with difficult people?  Feel free to share any thoughts in the comments.

Reflect on the beauty of the Queen of the Prairie:


Filed under Writing

12 responses to “On dealing with difficult people

  1. When dealing with difficult people
    always remember, it is about them
    and their problems. Be compassionate.
    my result from last Sylvester party too …

  2. Susan

    You have found some very good advice, Toby! I have also found some Asian and Buddhist philosphy to be helpful. When dealing with especially vulnerable populations, like small children from difficult homes and foster children, you can see this in action. It is all about them and sometimes you just have to be compassionate and realize that they are not attacking you individually but just lashing out at anyone and anything–you just happen to be in the line of fire… Best of luck in your travels through the slums of humanity. Take along some of those beautiful flowers to share and those who are having difficulties will certainly appreciate even the small gestures you make, even if you cannot change the larger issues that cause them grief. :-)

    • and you are one who continues to remind me that it’s not about me! and I thank you for trying to pound that into my head.

      thanks for stopping by and commenting, as always my friend.

  3. I can advice you don’t take them seriously, and that’s but in action and in thinking. In thinking, just don’t mind them. In action, try to be sarcastic to them, joke with them and be difficult to them as well. Maybe they can see themselves when you do what they’re doing.

    • agreed about not taking them seriously. the other? not so sure, might back fire. the current person gets so angry that I worry they might go over the edge? so, yea, just need to avoid that person for now. but thank you :)

  4. Tobyo, thanks for compiling this advice. My wife is a tremendious listener and is very empathetic, so she attracts overbearing people like those described above. These people need an audience and my wife is the best one they have. Yet, it wears her out. You have said so concisely above variations of advice I have tried to offer her over time and done a much better job than I have (or could have) done. Many thanks for doing this. I will have her read through your work. Safe and enjoyable travels. Best wishes, BTG

    • I’m so glad to hear that my compilation may help your wife. She is such a good person to listen but indeed, I can see how it might wear her out. I was also doing some research into being more assertive and perhaps she needs to learn how to say no to some of these people? If it’s weighing her down, that’s not good. I hope this helps her.

  5. Tobyo, she read them, nodded her head often and chuckled at your grudge/ poison analogy. Thanks again, BTG

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